How I Realized There’s a “Best Version” of Myself (And Why I’m Chasing It)

A Fresh Start, but Something Was Missing

My name is Juliette, I’m 26, and like many people, I struggled with depression when I was younger. It took time to heal, but I eventually managed. After earning my bachelor’s degree, I moved to a new country—a fresh start, a breath of fresh air. To this day, I still think that this is the best decision I’ve ever made. But even with all the excitement of change, something still felt… off. I don’t really know how to explain it, I could just feel it in my whole body, in my bones.

For a while, I tried to ignore it. But that nagging feeling of something missing always came back. So, I started searching for answers.

Trying to Find My Passion (and Failing Over and Over Again)

I dove into self-improvement—exercising (which I kept up for a few months before dropping), meditating (same story), and picking up hobbies like embroidery, diamond painting, and gardening (though, unfortunately, the plants didn’t survive). I even explored tarot, crystals, astrology, and numerology, only to put them aside after a while.

Obviously, this didn’t help my self-confidence (which I lacked and still lack today, but we’ll probably talk about this more in another article). It made me feel very frustrated and like a failure. I kept talking myself down, telling myself that I’m not good at anything, that I’ll never achieve anything in life, etc. It was negative thought after negative thought and bad self-talk after bad self-talk. Because, let’s be real, in our society, failure is not accepted and is not very well seen.

Looking back, I see that I wasn’t just trying to find a passion—I was desperately searching for something that would light a spark inside me. A calling, maybe? But no matter what I tried, boredom eventually crept in. At first, I thought this was a flaw. I kept pushing myself to commit to one thing, thinking that I had to stick to something. But that only made things worse. Why does everyone have something they are passionate about and really good at, but not me? Am I that much of a failure?

The Realization That Changed Everything

After countless negative self-talk cycles and sleepless nights wondering what was wrong with me, I had a realization: it’s okay to have many interests. It’s okay to have more than one or two passions. It’s okay to move from one thing to another.

If I let go of the pressure to stick with one thing forever, I can actually enjoy these phases when they come and, at least for me, they almost always end up coming back. And the nice thing is, when they do, I can just pick up where I left off and learn more about that specific interest. Now that I’ve accepted this about myself, I feel so much freer.

But through all these cycles, one idea has stayed with me—the feeling that I am meant for more. That I’m here to do something meaningful, something specific and unique. That I have the potential to create a life that excites and fulfills me.

Because I cannot believe that we are going through this unique, extraordinary experience that is being human—just to wake up every day feeling miserable, go to a job we don’t like, earn a salary that barely allows us to survive, then go to sleep and start again the next day, for the majority of our lives. This, to me, is unthinkable. There’s gotta be more than that.

A New Beginning: Building the Best Version of Myself

I truly believe that every single one of us has a wonderful and exciting life ahead of us. The challenge is figuring out what that life looks like for each and every one of us—and how to get there. And I think the way to find it is by exploring, learning, and trying new things—without the pressure to have all the answers right away.

It’s about being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to make mistakes because, let’s be honest, we all make mistakes, and we always will. But that’s how we grow.

This article marks the beginning of my journey—a reset, a fresh start. A commitment to figuring out who I truly am and building the best version of myself. I know I can do it on my own, but honestly, it would be amazing if some of you joined me on this adventure. So, here’s to finding ourselves, one step at a time.

What about you? Have you ever felt like something was missing, even when everything seemed fine on the surface? I’d love to hear your story.